Physical Changes Won't Fix Your Insecurities. Your Mindset Does.

how to deal with insecurities, how to be confident, how to love your skin, deal with low self esteem, body positivity story, changing your mindset, changing yourself

I used to hate wearing bright/neon colors as it makes me look darker. I hated being tan. I don’t want to be tan. You’ve probably know by now how I battled with my body insecurities when I was growing up... I wish I could say my body was the only issue I had with myself. I never talked about this before but the truth is, I hated everything about myself. And that includes my skin color.

During my teenage years, I had this belief that in order to be considered as “beautiful”, one must have a slender body and a fair complexion. Anything that doesn’t belong to that category is considered unattractive. Of course, if you know me by now, you know that this is absolutely not what I believe anymore. However, I couldn’t blame my teen self either. Society played a major role with me thinking this way and it took a toll on my life for quite some time.

I remember trying so hard to lighten my skin. I used whitening soap, I used an umbrella everywhere and I didn’t let myself get exposed to the Sun.. not even just a bit. Of course, there were some changes. My friends started noticing how my skin lightened. They commended me of how hard I tried to get fairer skin. But all those things didn’t matter to me. Those changes were great but it didn’t make me happy. It didn’t make me love myself more. If anything, it made me love myself a little less because no matter what I do, I know deep in my heart, I know I will never be as fair as the famous celebrities... Not unless I won a lotto ticket and get myself injected with glutathione.

Then I got tired. I got tired of torturing myself. I got tired of changing myself physically just to be “beautiful” in the eyes of society. I don’t exactly remember how I got over this insecurity. All I remember is that I woke up one day, realizing that being tan is okay. That “tan” is only a word... A description that best describes me. It doesn’t mean I’m ugly, it doesn’t mean I’m not good enough.. it just simply means I’m tan. Even if you google the word “tan” right now, it is and never will be synonymous to ugly.

I know for sure that each of us has our own insecurities to battle. There will always be something or someone that will trigger our insecurities from time to time. But changing yourself physically won’t cure any of it. I do understand why you would feel this way though cause.. who am I to judge? I did it myself.

Change is good. Changing yourself is not a bad thing. But when you do this to fix your insecurities, you will forever be in a trap where you pressure yourself to be the kind of “beautiful” that society wants. Until it drains you... And believe me, it will. It will drain you physically, it may drain you financially as well but most of all... It will drain you emotionally. Until you have nothing left.

But it’s true, though.. you need to change something to fix your insecurities. And that is your mindset. It might sound fluff and is easier said than done but self-acceptance is the solution to everything. If society thinks you are not “beautiful”, then be your own kind of “beautiful”. If society thinks you are not good enough, well then, the people who truly love you know your worth and that’s all that matters. Once you realize that you are beyond any label, it is only when you find peace, it is only when you find true happiness.


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Hello there! My name is Krizzia and I'm a style blogger based in Edmonton, Alberta. I hope to inspire women to be more confident with their style, one outfit at a time. 👸🏻


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