Your Love Language And How Does it Strengthen Your Relationships
Guys.. can you believe it’s already February? Time does go by fast when you’re having fun! With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s time for us to celebrate love and relationships through our love language. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. Although a lot of couples may benefit on this blog post, I don’t want to limit this to only one relationship status. I want to share with you the importance of knowing your love language and how it helped me in expressing my love towards my partner and the people around me.
WHAT DO I MEAN BY LOVE LANGUAGE?
I first heard the concept of love languages from Jojo and Jordan’s Vlog (yes.. the couple from The Bachelorette lol) when they talked about Marriage Advice with Jojo’s parents. The idea came from Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages who I believe is a marriage counselor.
Based on the book, there are 5 kinds of Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Personal Touch, Act of Service and Receiving Gifts. These languages are the basis of how we express our love towards our partner and how we want to receive love as well. I thought that we all have the same language of expressing and receiving love. We show our love by listening to our partner, giving them our time and giving them gifts from time to time. Don’t get me wrong, with Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages, these things are essential in a healthy relationship. However, not everyone is the same. While all these gestures are greatly appreciated, there is one gesture that is more meaningful to you.
WHY LOVE LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT FOR COUPLES
Your love language basically tells you how you give love and how you receive love. It’s your non-verbal way of showing your partner how you want to be treated— it’s actually like a hint. It is essential to know you and your partner’s love language because this will make you understand where you guys are coming from: why you and your partner react the way they react when you show a certain gesture and how you can make each other feel more important.
In my husband and I’s case, my love language is Act of Service while Kelly’s (my husband) love language is Words Of Affirmation. While we both appreciate each other’s gestures of expressing love, there is one act of love that makes us feel more special. And if this act of love is not given, it makes us bothered, confused and sometimes frustrated.. and this is when usually our conflict starts. For example, whenever I feel hopeless and down, Kelly will shower me words of affirmation which I do appreciate. But deep down, what I really needed are actions, and sometimes help. If Kelly’s down, on the other hand, I go out of my way to try and help him look for solutions.. but that’s not what he really needed from me. It actually makes him think that I don’t trust his actions and that I’m pressuring him. What he actually need from me is to tell him that I love and believe in him and everything’s going to be okay.
Remember that focusing on you and your partner’s love language is important, this shouldn’t be an excuse for you guys to neglect the other languages or gestures. As what I mentioned a while ago, all these languages are essential for a healthy relationship. It’s just a matter of knowing and understanding what your partner really needs in order to feel more loved and secure. It’s about compromising.
how love languages help develop personal relationships
I think it’s equally important to know your love language when you’re single because it will help you value your worth even more. This will help you understand how you give love and the kind of love you want to receive. I’m not saying that it’s a red flag when someone comes into your life without knowing your language. I’m just saying that when the time comes and you finally meet the one, you already know what will make you feel more special.
Love languages can help in other relationships too. It can help you understand your loved ones more and can help you strengthen your relationships with other people as you are able to show them the kind of love they always needed.
SO WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?
Let me know in the comments below! If you don’t know your love language but interested to find out, here’s the link of the test I took! I hope that knowing and understanding your love language will help you flourish your relationships, the same as it did to me!